What Is “Family Violence” Under the Family Law Act?
When people hear the term family violence, they often think only of physical abuse.
Under Australian family law, the definition is thankfully much broader.
Family Violence is defined under section 4AB of the Family Law Act 1975 and it includes a wide range of behaviours many of which are non-physical.
The Core Definition (s 4AB(1))
Family violence means violent, threatening, or other behaviour by a person that:
Coerces or controls a family member, or causes a family member to be fearful.
Importantly, the law focuses on behaviour and its effect, not just whether someone was physically hurt.
Examples of Family Violence (s 4AB(2))
The Act gives practical examples of conduct that may amount to family violence, including:
Physical or sexual abuse Threats or intimidation Repeated derogatory or abusive behaviour Intentionally damaging property Harm to pets Financial abuse (for example, controlling access to money) Unlawfully depriving someone of their liberty
It also includes behaviour that controls, dominates, or intimidates, even where no physical violence occurs.
Children and Family Violence
The definition also extends to children.
A child is considered exposed to family violence if they:
See or hear family violence, or are otherwise affected by it
This can include overhearing arguments, seeing a parent distressed after an incident, or being present during abusive behaviour.
Exposure matters because it is directly relevant to parenting decisions and what arrangements are in a child’s best interests.
What s 4AB Does Not Automatically Cover
This is where things often get misunderstood.
Not every disagreement, argument, or parenting dispute is family violence.
Courts carefully distinguish between:
High conflict or poor communication, and Behaviour that genuinely coerces, controls, or causes fear
Disagreeing with the other parent, refusing to consent to proposed parenting arrangements or taking legal positions in court do not, on their own, amount to family violence. It is often natural that parents separating will have different views of disagreements and it is often these differences in views that lead them to going to court for assistance and determination of the dispute.
Context, pattern, and impact are critical.
Why This Definition Matters
Findings of family violence can significantly affect:
Parenting arrangements,
Parental responsibility
The time a child spends with each parent and
Protective conditions in court orders such as injunctions and restraints.
That’s why allegations must be assessed carefully and supported by evidence capable of substantiating the allegations.
Final Thought
Section 4AB is designed to protect people and children from genuine harm, not to label every difficult separation or disagreement as abusive.
Understanding the difference between conflict and family violence is essential for anyone navigating family law proceedings.
If you’re unsure how the law applies to your situation, getting tailored advice early can help avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary escalation in conflict. Importantly research shows us that children exposed to parental conflict during separation can have negative outcomes.
Family Violence and coercive control can affect all aspects of your life and it is important that you engage with an experienced and trauma informed family lawyer to assist you in navigating your separation safely. If you are unsure where to start, speaking with an experienced Central Coast family lawyer can help you understand your options and protect your child’s best interests.
Contact Coastal Lawyers at Erina today for clear, practical family law advice tailored to Central Coast families.
Disclaimer: The above is legal information only and is not a substitute for obtaining legal advice for your legal problem.
Family violence allegations feature in a huge chunk of parenting litigation and the Court’s job is to tease out what’s coercive control (or another form of family violence) from what’s honest disagreement between parents.
In Pickford & Pickford, the Full Court of the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia took a deep dive into this challenging question.
The Backstory
The parties in Pickford were a separated couple with two children (9 and 6 years old). After lengthy litigation, the trial judge made final parenting orders giving the mother sole parental responsibility and restricting the father’s time with the children.
The court further found that the father had engaged in coercive and controlling conduct amounting to family violence against the mother.
Unsurprisingly, the father appealed, arguing major legal and factual errors in the trial judge’s findings. One of which was that the evidence did not support a conclusion of family violence in the form of coercive control.
What the Full Court Said
The Full Court’s decision is a useful compass on how ‘family violence’ should be understood in this context.
Two key themes emerged:
1. Not All Conflict Is Family Violence
There was plenty of parental conflict but conflict alone doesn’t automatically equate to family violence. The justices agreed that merely refusing to consent to a particular parenting arrangement or vigorously asserting legal rights in litigation is not, by itself, coercive control. Put simply: legal disagreement is not in itself family violence.
As one judge observed, “one litigant does not commit family violence against another litigant just by refusing to consent or submit to orders for which the opponent applies.”
This distinction is crucial for family law practitioners and clients alike. Allegations of family violence need to be supported by evidence of conduct that genuinely coerces or controls in the statutory sense, not merely evidence of robust parental (or even litigious) disagreement.
2. How the Court Interprets ‘Family Violence’
Section 4AB of the Family Law Act 1975 defines family violence broadly. It reaches behaviour that coerces or controls a family member or causes them to be fearful.
In Pickford, different judicial perspectives emerged on how broad that definition should be:
The majority view of the justices determining the case, emphasised that “family violence” is necessarily broad and protective in nature.
Their focus was on the impact of behaviour, and they were cautious not to let overly narrow definitions tamp down protections for those at risk.
The dissenting view or narrower interpretation of the remaining judges was that conduct should be evaluated objectively. That is coercive control must be demonstrated through the nature of the behaviour itself, not solely based on one party’s subjective experience or isolated incidents of conflict.
Practical Takeaways for Families:
Pickford offers key compass points when dealing with coercive control in the legal sense. It highlights that
🔹 Parental conflict and family violence: Robust disagreements, even if emotionally charged, aren’t automatically coercive or controlling.
🔹 Objective analysis is essential: Court findings must be grounded in evidence showing actual coercive or controlling conduct, not just perceptions of it.
🔹 Context matters: Judges must look at behaviour in its full context and assess impact, not just isolated acts.
🔹 Allegations carry weight: Because family violence findings are relevant to best-interests assessments for children, framing and proof really matter.
Why Pickford Matters
Carefully prepared evidence and affidavit material is often crucial to proving coercive control under the Family Law Act, which is often described as a pattern of behaviour or a serious of acts viewed as a whole.
Get advice before you act.
Contact Coastal Lawyers for clear, practical family law advice tailored to Central Coast families.
As former prosecutors and police officers Coastal Lawyers have extensive experience is providing trauma informed legal advice and strategies to Central Coast residents where family violence and coercive control are a significant feature.
Reminder: The above is legal information only and is not a substitute for obtaining tailored legal advice addressed at your unique family and situation.
When it comes to family law disputes, many people come to mediation after months of lawyer assisted negotiations or discussions between themselves.
By then, they’re often firmly attached to their legal “rights” and positions. While knowing your rights and understanding the strengths and weaknesses of your case is absolutely essential, mediation requires a different mindset.
Instead of focusing on winning or losing, mediation works best when both parties are willing to move from their starting positions.
A successful mediation isn’t about victory; it’s about compromise. In fact, the hallmark of a good outcome is that both parties leave feeling a little disappointed. A sense of “I could’ve got more.” That’s not failure; that’s balance. It means both of you sacrificed something in order to reach an agreement.
Why Compromise is Worth It
So why agree to something less than your “ideal” outcome? Well in my experience as both a seasoned family lawyer and an Accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner is there are four main reasons:
1. Cost
Litigation is expensive. You might fight over $10,000, but by the end of a drawn-out case, you could spend $100,000 to $150,000 in legal fees if it goes to a full final hearing. Mediation allows you to resolve matters far more affordably.
2. Emotional Wellbeing
The toll of conflict isn’t just financial. Prolonged disputes can deeply affect your mental health and wellbeing.
More importantly, if children are involved, ongoing parental conflict can be profoundly damaging. Research shows extended exposure to conflict can even alter a child’s brain development. No parent wants to look back and realise that legal battles over dollars and cents cost their children peace of mind and stability.
3. Time
Court proceedings are rarely quick. Even after your first court date, which may take 6 to 12 weeks to arrive you’re often simply sent back to further directions, mediations, report preparations or adjournments. It’s common for matters to drag on for 18 months or more. By contrast, a mediated agreement can be drafted into consent orders and finalised within weeks or months depending on the complexity and issues in dispute.
4. You get to decide
What many do not realise is that when you go to court and are involved in litigation. You are paying for a judge to decide what should happy to your family and your finances. In mediation however, you get to maintain control over what happens. When you are involved in litigation, who ‘wins’ will depend on who presents the best evidence on the day(s) of the trial and how the judge assigned to your case assesses that evidence.
The Harsh Reality of Litigation
If mediation fails, litigation often becomes the next step. But here’s the reality:
Over time, costs escalate while assets often depreciate. You are already losing.
Conflict tends to increase, not decrease.
Litigation fatigue sets in, leaving families drained financially and emotionally.
The court process is slow, and the “big day” in front of a judge may be years away.
In many cases, the final court order looks very similar to what could have been achieved in mediation years earlier or sadly worse because now emotionally and financially a toll has been taken.
When Court is Necessary
The court system is crucial for keeping families safe. If there are serious concerns like family violence, abuse, or unacceptable risks to children, the court is the best place to ensure protection and accountability. In those circumstances, litigation is not just appropriate but essential sometimes. This is where having an experienced family lawyer is crucial to understanding your particular unique case and needs.
However, in cases involving modest asset pools such as a home, cars, superannuation, and savings mediation often provides the fastest, least damaging path forward.
Final Thoughts
Mediation isn’t about giving up your rights or “losing.” It’s about making a clear-eyed, practical decision for the sake of your finances, your wellbeing, and most importantly your children. By approaching mediation with the right mindset, you give yourself the best chance of moving forward sooner, lighter, and with less regret.
If you would like to learn more about mediation, this blog post is written by Kristal Naividi of Olive Mediation and you can find out more at http://www.olivemediation.com.au
What is a conciliation conference and why might I need one?
A Conciliation Conference is court ordered mediation.
It is an opportunity for you and your former partner to settle your family law dispute in a bid to reach an agreement and avoid continuing lengthy and expensive court events.
Where an order is made by the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (the Court) for you to attend a conciliation conference, your attendance will be compulsory.
Both you and your former partner will be required to meet with a Judicial Registrar to make a genuine effort to resolve your dispute.
Where safety issues exist, your attendance may be undertaken separately by way of a shuttle setting.
There are three stages involved in the Conciliation Conference process:
Stage 1
This is the introductory process. Here the Judicial Registrar will briefly meet with you and the other party to explain their role, seek information about issues such as family violence, confirm the materials and issues in dispute and answer any questions you may have.
Stage 2
This is an opportunity to explore areas of agreement and seek opportunities to resolve the matter. The Registrar will assist both parties to identify these.
Stage 3:
This is the conclusion of the conference, whereby the Registrar can make orders that reflect the agreement, identify outstanding issues, confirm next steps and prepare the Certificate of Dispute Resolution.
How long does the conference last?
The conference will last approximately four hours.
What orders can be made?
Any orders made by the Registrar will only be by consent, which means they will only be made where you and the other party agree to them.
The settlement negotiations are also privileged. This means that whatever you or the other party say during negotiating cannot be used against you if the matter goes to court.
Exceptions to the above however relate to a suspicion of child abuse, violence, or threats of violence, as court staff are required by law to report this.
The Certificate of Dispute Resolution is also exempted and can be used in court as evidence if the matter proceeds to trial.
What must I do before a Conciliation Conference?
To make best use of the process, exchanging information with your former partner and with the Court prior to the conference is crucial. This is known as full and frank disclosure.
Where to get more help?
If you are ordered to attend a Conciliation Conference, Coastal Lawyers can assist you to prepare and advocate on your behalf.
Written by Coastal Lawyers- Central Coast Family Lawyers
Coastal Lawyers are family lawyers based in Erina, on the Central Coast.
Coastal Lawyers assist family law clients in parenting, property, mediation, dispute resolution, and litigation. We offer the legal advice you expect from a lawyer, along with the emotional support you might not expect.
We are passionate about assisting our clients achieve amicable separations without the need for court intervention through the process of legally assisted mediation.
Our team also frequently appears at the Newcastle Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Newcastle FCFCOA), the Parramatta Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Parramatta FCFCOA), and the Sydney Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Sydney FCFCOA) to represent our clients in more intricate family law matters. This encompasses issues related to family violence, unacceptable risk of harm to children, relocation applications, recovery orders and complex property settlements.
Coastal Lawyers offer a 1 hour Strategy Session for all new family law enquiries at a reduced hourly rate.
So many people put off their divorce. (Just like making or updating their will).
But @coastallawyers we offer a fixed fee divorce and fixed fee estate planning packages.
You see getting divorced and updating your estate planning is like shoes and socks. This is why rather than putting it off, we offer our clients the ability to pay it off.
Did you know 1:
Divorce is seperate to property settlement (both being distinct legal processes under the Family Law Act)
Did you know 2:
You should ALWAYS update your estate planning documents upon separation and also upon divorce (the Succession Act 2006 NSW makes that very clear).
Did you know 3:
Once your divorce is granted you only have 12 months to finalise your property settlement unless you have leave of the court or have consent of the other party (Section 44 of the Family Law Act 1975).
Book in a free 15 minute chat online to find out more about our fixed fee divorce and estate planning packages.
![Case Note: Pickford & Pickford [2024] FedCFamC1A 249. Where Parental Conflict and Family Violence Part Ways](https://i0.wp.com/coastallawyers.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/28.png?resize=1080%2C675&ssl=1)
