At Coastal Lawyers, we understand that separation is one of the most challenging transitions a person can face.
That’s why we’ve created this practical, trauma-informed checklist to guide you through the early steps.
Our team is here to provide legal advice and emotional support to help you feel confident and empowered during this time.
1. Secure Your Finances
Online Banking: Change your login details to ensure your accounts are secure. If your ex-partner has access, now is the time to update passwords.
Set Up Your Own Account: Open a new bank account in your name only and redirect your income to this account.
Joint Accounts:
Discuss how to divide funds in any joint accounts.
If you can’t agree, consider freezing the account to protect your savings until an agreement is reached.
Credit Cards: Cancel any secondary cards on accounts in your name to avoid liability for additional spending.
2. Organize Important Documents
Asset Records: Gather financial records, including loan statements, bank account details, and property documents.
Personal Identification: Secure passports, birth certificates, and marriage certificates.
Legal Documents: Update your will, power of attorney, and any superannuation beneficiaries.
3. Property and Assets
Inventory: Make a list of all assets and liabilities. Include property, vehicles, superannuation, and debts.
Secure Valuables: If safe to do so, remove sentimental or high-value items from the shared property for safekeeping.
Keep the Status Quo: Avoid selling, gifting, or disposing of joint assets without consulting your lawyer.
4. Children and Parenting
At Coastal Lawyers, we know the wellbeing of your children is your top priority.
Parenting Plans: Begin discussions around interim parenting arrangements, focusing on the best interests of your children.
School Notifications: Inform your child’s school or daycare about the separation and provide updated emergency contact details.
Child Support: Contact Services Australia to learn more about child support obligations or entitlements.
5. Living Arrangements
Temporary Housing: If one party is moving out, prioritize the children’s stability when making arrangements.
Mail Redirection: Redirect mail to a safe location, such as your new address or a trusted friend’s home.
6. Digital Security
Password Protection: Update passwords for your email, social media, and any other shared online accounts.
Subscriptions: Cancel or transfer shared accounts like streaming services, phone plans, or cloud storage.
7. Superannuation
Statements: Request up-to-date statements from your superannuation fund.
Splitting Agreements: Superannuation is a marital asset and may be divided during property settlements.
8. Take Care of Yourself
At Coastal Lawyers, we’re committed to supporting not just your legal journey but your emotional wellbeing.
Seek Support: Engage with a therapist, counsellor, or trusted friend to process your emotions.
Build Your Network: Surround yourself with supportive people who can guide you during this time.
Self-Care: Take time to focus on your physical and mental health. Small, consistent steps can make a big difference.
9. Legal Advice
Early legal advice can make a world of difference in setting the tone for your separation.
Book a Strategy Session: Coastal Lawyers offers an initial consultation to answer your questions and help you create a clear plan.
Collaborative Approach: Our team is passionate about resolving disputes outside of court whenever possible.
10. Practical Considerations
Insurance: Review and update your insurance policies to reflect your new circumstances.
Utilities: Separate utility accounts like electricity, gas, and internet if they are in joint names.
Vehicle Registration: Clarify ownership and ensure payments are up to date.
Let Coastal Lawyers Guide You
Separation is a journey, and you don’t have to walk it alone. At Coastal Lawyers, we provide trauma-informed, compassionate legal support every step of the way. This checklist is designed to help you take the first steps with confidence. Let Coastal Lawyers provide the legal guidance you need to protect your future.
Written by Coastal Lawyers- Central Coast Family Lawyers
Coastal Lawyers are family lawyers based in Erina, on the Central Coast.
Coastal Lawyers assist family law clients in parenting, property, mediation, dispute resolution, and litigation. We offer the legal advice you expect from a lawyer, along with the emotional support you might not expect.
We are passionate about assisting our clients achieve amicable separations without the need for court intervention through the process of legally assisted mediation.
Our team also frequently appears at the Newcastle Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Newcastle FCFCOA), the Parramatta Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Parramatta FCFCOA), and the Sydney Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Sydney FCFCOA) to represent our clients in more intricate family law matters. This encompasses issues related to family violence, unacceptable risk of harm to children, relocation applications, recovery orders and complex property settlements.
Coastal Lawyers offer a 1 hour Strategy Session for all new family law enquiries at a reduced hourly rate.
When parents separate, one of the most complex and sensitive issues involves determining parenting arrangements. A common question arises: how much say do children have in deciding where they live or how they spend time with each parent? In family law matters, the court does consider children’s views, but several factors determine the weight given to their wishes.
Key Factors in Considering a Child’s Wishes
1. Age and Maturity
The older and more mature a child is, the more influence their views may have on the court’s decision. For instance, a teenager’s preferences are likely to carry significant weight, especially if they can articulate their reasons. However, younger children’s views can also be taken into account, provided they can express them meaningfully and without undue influence.
2. Best Interests of the Child
The child’s best interests are always the court’s paramount consideration. The court assesses whether a child’s expressed wishes align with their safety, well-being, and developmental needs. If a child’s preferences might expose them to harm or instability, the court will prioritize their protection over their wishes.
3. Independent Representation
In complex cases, an Independent Children’s Lawyer (ICL) may be appointed to represent the child’s best interests. The ICL doesn’t take instructions directly from the child but ensures the child’s views are presented to the court, alongside an independent assessment of what’s best for their welfare.
4. Influence of Parents
The court is mindful of the potential for parental influence on a child’s expressed preferences. If there is evidence that one parent has coerced or unduly influenced the child, the court may investigate further or discount those views to ensure decisions are genuinely reflective of the child’s best interests.
5. Nature of the Case
In cases involving allegations of family violence or child abuse, the court’s focus shifts heavily toward ensuring the child’s safety. While the child’s views remain important, their protection becomes the overriding concern, and their wishes may carry less weight if they conflict with safety considerations.
6. How the Court Gathers Children’s Views
Direct interviews between a judge and a child are rare in Australian family law. Instead, the court typically relies on:
Reports from Family Consultants: These experts meet with the child and parents to understand the family dynamics and provide recommendations to the court.
Independent Children’s Lawyers: The ICL presents the child’s views and their best interests to the court.
These professionals ensure that the child’s voice is heard without placing them in the uncomfortable position of directly choosing between parents.
Balancing Children’s Wishes and Their Best Interests
While children’s views are important, they form part of a broader assessment of what is in their best interests. The court’s ultimate goal is to create parenting arrangements that promote the child’s safety, stability, and overall well-being, even if this doesn’t align perfectly with their preferences.
Need Support Navigating Family Law?
If you’re dealing with family law matters involving your child’s wishes, Coastal Lawyers can provide compassionate, experienced guidance to help you understand your rights and obligations. Contact us today to ensure the best outcome for your family.
Written by Coastal Lawyers- Central Coast Family Lawyers
Coastal Lawyers are family lawyers based in Erina, on the Central Coast.
Coastal Lawyers assist family law clients in parenting, property, mediation, dispute resolution, and litigation. We offer the legal advice you expect from a lawyer, along with the emotional support you might not expect.
We are passionate about assisting our clients achieve amicable separations without the need for court intervention through the process of legally assisted mediation.
Our team also frequently appears at the Newcastle Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Newcastle FCFCOA), the Parramatta Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Parramatta FCFCOA), and the Sydney Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Sydney FCFCOA) to represent our clients in more intricate family law matters. This encompasses issues related to family violence, unacceptable risk of harm to children, relocation applications, recovery orders and complex property settlements.
Coastal Lawyers offer a 1 hour Strategy Session for all new family law enquiries at a reduced hourly rate.
In family law, parenting orders provide structure and stability for children after separation. But what happens when circumstances change and one parent wants to revisit those orders? That’s where the Rice & Asplund principle comes into play. Stemming from an Australian family law case, this principle sets the standard for when the court will entertain an application to change existing parenting orders.
Here’s what you need to know about Rice & Asplund and how it applies to family law cases.
The Rice & Asplund Principle
Rice & Asplund refers to the court’s requirement that a significant change in circumstances must be shown before revisiting parenting orders. This principle ensures that the court balances stability and consistency for the child with the need to adapt to substantial changes.
Key Points About Rice & Asplund
1. Stability is Key
The court recognizes that stability and consistency are often in the child’s best interests. For this reason, reopening parenting arrangements without a substantial reason may not benefit the child. Parenting orders are designed to provide certainty, so the court is cautious about making frequent changes.
2. Reducing Unnecessary Litigation
Rice & Asplund aims to prevent repeated or frivolous court applications to change parenting orders. Constant litigation can take an emotional toll on the child and the parents, as well as strain court resources.
3. Demonstrating a Significant Change
To vary an existing parenting order, the parent making the application must demonstrate that a significant change in circumstances has occurred. Examples might include:
Relocation that impacts existing arrangements.
Changes in a child’s needs, such as medical or educational considerations.
Evidence of safety concerns or family violence.
Without such a change, the court is unlikely to reopen the matter.
4. Best Interests of the Child
As with all family law matters, the child’s best interests remain the court’s paramount consideration. Any changes to parenting orders must align with promoting the child’s well-being, security, and development.
How the Court Assesses Applications
When deciding whether to entertain an application under Rice & Asplund, the court considers:
The nature of the alleged change in circumstances.
Whether the proposed changes are practical and beneficial for the child.
The impact of reopening the matter on the child’s stability.
If the court determines that reopening the case is not in the child’s best interests, the application may be dismissed at an early stage.
Seeking Legal Advice
The Rice & Asplund principle ensures that parenting orders aren’t unnecessarily revisited, protecting the child’s stability while allowing flexibility when significant changes arise. If you’re considering applying to vary parenting orders, it’s essential to seek legal advice. An experienced family lawyer can help you determine whether your situation meets the threshold set by this principle and guide you through the process.
Need Help Navigating Parenting Orders?
At Coastal Lawyers, we understand the complexities of parenting orders and the importance of your child’s well-being. Contact us today for expert advice on whether your case meets the requirements of the Rice & Asplund principle and how to proceed.vice to protect your child’s well-being.
Written by Coastal Lawyers- Central Coast Family Lawyers
Coastal Lawyers are family lawyers based in Erina, on the Central Coast.
Coastal Lawyers assist family law clients in parenting, property, mediation, dispute resolution, and litigation. We offer the legal advice you expect from a lawyer, along with the emotional support you might not expect.
We are passionate about assisting our clients achieve amicable separations without the need for court intervention through the process of legally assisted mediation.
Our team also frequently appears at the Newcastle Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Newcastle FCFCOA), the Parramatta Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Parramatta FCFCOA), and the Sydney Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Sydney FCFCOA) to represent our clients in more intricate family law matters. This encompasses issues related to family violence, unacceptable risk of harm to children, relocation applications, recovery orders and complex property settlements.
Coastal Lawyers offer a 1 hour Strategy Session for all new family law enquiries at a reduced hourly rate.
Traveling overseas with your child after separation can become a legal minefield, particularly if the other parent doesn’t agree to the trip. In Australia, laws are in place to prevent child abduction and ensure that both parents’ rights, along with the child’s best interests, are protected. If you’re planning a trip and facing resistance or uncertainty, here’s what you need to know.
1. Start with Communication and Agreement
The best place to begin is with open communication. If possible, talk to the other parent about your plans and why the travel is important. If they agree, it’s wise to get their consent in writing, such as a signed letter outlining the travel details. This can help prevent disputes later and serves as a clear record of their permission.
2. What If the Other Parent Doesn’t Agree?
When agreement isn’t possible, there are legal avenues to consider:
Seek Consent Orders
If discussions stall, you can apply to the court for consent orders. These orders formalize the travel terms, offering a legal framework to avoid further disputes. You’ll need to demonstrate that the trip is in the child’s best interests.
Consider Mediation
In many cases, you’ll need to attend mediation before applying to the court. Mediation provides a structured environment to work through disputes with a neutral third party, helping both parents find a voluntary resolution.
Apply for Court Orders
If mediation fails or isn’t suitable, you can apply to the court for orders allowing the trip. The court will assess factors such as:
The reason for the travel (e.g., family events, education, or cultural exposure).
The potential benefits and risks to the child.
Whether the travel aligns with the child’s best interests.
A judge’s decision will aim to balance the needs and concerns of all parties, with the child’s wellbeing as the top priority.
3. Be Aware of Passport Restrictions
If there’s concern that the other parent might take your child overseas without permission, you can explore measures to restrict or monitor their ability to obtain a passport. For example:
Applying to have the child’s name listed on the Airport Watch List, preventing unauthorized travel.
Seeking court orders to secure or cancel a passport.
These steps are often used when there’s a fear of abduction or non-consensual international travel.
4. Don’t Risk Traveling Without Consent
It’s critical to understand that taking your child overseas without the other parent’s consent, or without court approval, could be considered child abduction. This is a serious legal offense under both Australian and international laws. Even well-intentioned trips can result in severe consequences if proper procedures aren’t followed.
Seek Legal Guidance
Every situation is unique, and navigating the legal requirements for international travel with children can be tricky. At Coastal Lawyers, we can help you understand your rights and obligations, mediate disputes, or represent you in court if necessary.
Planning an Overseas Trip with Your Child?
Don’t risk unnecessary complications. Contact Coastal Lawyers today for expert advice on securing the consent you need and ensuring your travel plans comply with the law.
Written by Coastal Lawyers- Central Coast Family Lawyers
Coastal Lawyers are family lawyers based in Erina, on the Central Coast.
Coastal Lawyers assist family law clients in parenting, property, mediation, dispute resolution, and litigation. We offer the legal advice you expect from a lawyer, along with the emotional support you might not expect.
We are passionate about assisting our clients achieve amicable separations without the need for court intervention through the process of legally assisted mediation.
Our team also frequently appears at the Newcastle Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Newcastle FCFCOA), the Parramatta Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Parramatta FCFCOA), and the Sydney Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Sydney FCFCOA) to represent our clients in more intricate family law matters. This encompasses issues related to family violence, unacceptable risk of harm to children, relocation applications, recovery orders and complex property settlements.
Coastal Lawyers offer a 1 hour Strategy Session for all new family law enquiries at a reduced hourly rate.
There seems to be a magical myth out there that “positive” co-parenting means everything has to be perfect—a fantasy of seamless communication and flawless teamwork. Here at Coastal Lawyers, we see plenty of positive co-parenting relationships, and guess what? They’re far from perfect! In reality, a healthy co-parenting relationship just means finding what works, accepting imperfections, and staying committed to putting the kids first. Here are our top 10 practical tips for navigating co-parenting with grace (and maybe a little humour).
1. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully
Good communication doesn’t mean you’ll always agree; it just means that you’re willing to discuss things calmly and respectfully. If you’re feeling frustrated, take a moment before responding. Remember, a quick “thank you” or “please” can go a long way. You don’t have to be best friends, just decent communicators.
2. Be Flexible
Things will change—schedules, moods, and needs—especially with kids involved. Flexibility keeps conflict down, as both parents recognise that life isn’t always predictable. Allowing a little leeway shows respect and trust in each other’s roles.
3. Encourage Your Child’s Relationship with Their Other Parent
Support your child’s bond with their other parent. A positive co-parenting relationship often involves letting go of personal grievances to make space for the kids. By encouraging your child’s relationship with their other parent, you’re giving them the stability and support they need.
4. Include Each Other in Important Decisions
Co-parenting works best when it’s a team effort. Include each other in discussions on important issues—whether it’s school choices, health matters, or birthday party plans. When both parents feel valued in decision-making, there’s less room for resentment or misunderstandings.
5. Get Organised and Avoid the Small Fights
Forgotten items and missed events cause more disagreements than you might think. Consider using a family calendar or app to keep track of schedules, holidays, and special events. Or, if you prefer low-tech, keep a shared communication notebook. Organised parents tend to argue less because they’re all on the same page. Check out our blog post on parenting apps to help streamline communication.
6. Take Out the Emotion
Emotions can quickly escalate disagreements, so keep conversations focused on practical details instead of emotional history. Talk about what needs to be done for the child, not old grievances. A businesslike approach often keeps things smoother and less stressful.
7. Use Positive Language
A little politeness goes a long way. Using kind language—like “please” and “thank you”—can change the whole tone of a conversation. When each parent feels appreciated rather than criticized, co-parenting becomes less of a chore and more of a partnership.
8. Practice Compromise
Co-parenting isn’t about winning; it’s about working together. Be willing to compromise on things like visitation schedules or extracurricular activities. Practicing a give-and-take approach helps create a more harmonious environment for your kids.
9. Put the Kids First
Remembering that co-parenting is about the kids, not past conflicts, can help you both stay focused on what matters. Make decisions that are in the best interest of the kids, even if it means letting go of some of your own preferences. It’s a simple idea that can make all the difference.
10. Take Time for Yourself
Let’s face it, co-parenting can be exhausting. Take time for yourself to recharge so you can show up as the best version of yourself for your kids. Whether it’s a quick walk, a catch-up with friends, or a good book, self-care keeps stress levels down and patience levels up.
Need Help with Your Co-Parenting Journey?
Co-parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about finding what works and keeping the focus on your kids. If you’re struggling to make it work or have questions about formalising your arrangements, Coastal Lawyers can help you navigate the process. Contact us for advice tailored to your unique family situation.
Written by Coastal Lawyers- Central Coast Family Lawyers
Coastal Lawyers are family lawyers based in Erina, on the Central Coast.
Coastal Lawyers assist family law clients in parenting, property, mediation, dispute resolution, and litigation. We offer the legal advice you expect from a lawyer, along with the emotional support you might not expect.
We are passionate about assisting our clients achieve amicable separations without the need for court intervention through the process of legally assisted mediation.
Our team also frequently appears at the Newcastle Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Newcastle FCFCOA), the Parramatta Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Parramatta FCFCOA), and the Sydney Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Sydney FCFCOA) to represent our clients in more intricate family law matters. This encompasses issues related to family violence, unacceptable risk of harm to children, relocation applications, recovery orders and complex property settlements.
Coastal Lawyers offer a 1 hour Strategy Session for all new family law enquiries at a reduced hourly rate.
Navigating separation or divorce can be incredibly challenging for families, especially when children are involved. Books can be a powerful tool to help children understand and process their emotions, and they provide parents with guidance on how to support their kids through this difficult time.
Here’s a comprehensive reading list of books for children and parents, covering everything from coping with divorce to understanding blended families.
Books for Children
These books are written specifically to help children understand and cope with the changes in their family structure.
Max’s Divorce Earthquake (2019) by Rachel Brace A story that helps children understand the impact of divorce in a gentle and supportive way.
Mum and Dad Glue (2010) by Kes Gray A touching tale about a child who learns that even though parents separate, their love for their child remains strong.
Two Homes (2013) by Claire Masurel This book reassures children that they can feel at home in two houses after a divorce.
Two of Everything (2000) by Babette Cole A humorous take on how life changes after divorce, told through the eyes of a child.
Was it the Chocolate Pudding? A Story for Little Kids About Divorce (2005) by Sandra Levins A relatable story for younger kids, helping them understand that divorce isn’t their fault.
Skimming Stones: A Story About Overcoming a Family Breakdown (2007) by Steve Heron A beautifully written story about resilience and finding hope after family changes.
Sam’s Sunday Dad (1999) by Margaret Wild A story about a boy adjusting to spending weekends with his dad after a separation.
My Family’s Changing (1999) by Pat Thomas A guide that helps children understand and process the emotions associated with family separation.
I Will Always Love You – Helping Kids Cope With Divorce and Separation by Aya Alasbali A reassuring book that emphasizes the enduring love between parents and their children.
The Day the Sea Went Out and Never Came Back (2003) by Margot Sunderland A story that gently addresses grief and loss, perfect for helping children process emotions.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child (1997) by Isolina Ricci Ph.D. A practical guide for children adjusting to living in two homes.
When Your Parents’ Divorce: A Kid-To-Kid Guide to Dealing With Divorce (2013) by Kimberly King Written from a child’s perspective, this book provides relatable advice and support.
The Mending Chronicles of Liam and Emily: A Divorce Recovery Journey for Kids (2019) by Natalie Knox A story of hope and healing for kids dealing with their parents’ divorce.
The Divorce Helpbook for Kids (2001) by Cynthia Macgregor A supportive resource for children coping with their parents’ divorce.
The Invisible String (2014) by Patrice Karst A comforting story about staying connected to loved ones, perfect for separation anxiety.
The Family Forest (2015) by Kim Kane A playful story about blended families and the uniqueness of each family tree.
The Family Book (2009) by Todd Parr A celebration of diverse family structures.
Who’s in My Family: All About Our Families (2015) by Robie H. Harris A wonderful exploration of different family situations.
Books for Parents
These books offer practical advice and emotional support for parents navigating separation, divorce, and co-parenting.
Talking to Children About Divorce: A Parent’s Guide to Healthy Communication at Each Stage of Divorce (2016) by Jean McBride An essential guide to supporting your children emotionally during divorce.
Shared Care or Divided Lives: What’s Best for Children When Parents Separate (2008) by Phil Watts A thoughtful analysis of how shared care arrangements impact children.
Divorce is Not the End of the World: Zoe & Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids (2008) by Zoe Stern A guide to understanding the child’s perspective and supporting their emotional needs.
The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing With the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive (2006) by Robert Emery Ph.D. An empathetic guide to managing the emotional complexities of divorce.
Co-Parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive in Two Households After Divorce (2013) by Deesha Philyaw and Michael D. Thomas A must-read for co-parents aiming to create a positive environment for their children.
Your Kids After Divorce: The Care of Your Kids After Your Divorce (2017) by Steven Robbet Practical advice for helping children adjust post-divorce.
Surviving Your Split (2017) by Lucy Mannering and Rebekah Mannering A resourceful guide for navigating the emotional and practical aspects of separation.
What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce (2003) by Judith Wallerstein A deep dive into how divorce affects children and how to support them through it.
Don’t Divorce Us! Kids’ Advice to Divorcing Parents (2000) by Rita Sommers-Flanagan A touching collection of advice from children to parents going through divorce.
Why Books Are a Great Resource
Books provide a safe and accessible way for both children and parents to explore the emotions, challenges, and changes that come with separation and divorce. Whether it’s helping children understand their feelings or guiding parents through effective communication, these books can be invaluable tools.
If you or your family need further support, Coastal Lawyers is here to help you navigate separation and family law issues with care and expertise.
Need Legal Support for Your Separation?
Contact Coastal Lawyers for compassionate and professional advice tailored to your family’s unique needs.
Written by Coastal Lawyers- Central Coast Family Lawyers
Coastal Lawyers are family lawyers based in Erina, on the Central Coast.
Coastal Lawyers assist family law clients in parenting, property, mediation, dispute resolution, and litigation. We offer the legal advice you expect from a lawyer, along with the emotional support you might not expect.
We are passionate about assisting our clients achieve amicable separations without the need for court intervention through the process of legally assisted mediation.
Our team also frequently appears at the Newcastle Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Newcastle FCFCOA), the Parramatta Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Parramatta FCFCOA), and the Sydney Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Sydney FCFCOA) to represent our clients in more intricate family law matters. This encompasses issues related to family violence, unacceptable risk of harm to children, relocation applications, recovery orders and complex property settlements.
Coastal Lawyers offer a 1 hour Strategy Session for all new family law enquiries at a reduced hourly rate.
