There seems to be a magical myth out there that “positive” co-parenting means everything has to be perfect—a fantasy of seamless communication and flawless teamwork. Here at Coastal Lawyers, we see plenty of positive co-parenting relationships, and guess what? They’re far from perfect! In reality, a healthy co-parenting relationship just means finding what works, accepting imperfections, and staying committed to putting the kids first. Here are our top 10 practical tips for navigating co-parenting with grace (and maybe a little humour).
1. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully
Good communication doesn’t mean you’ll always agree; it just means that you’re willing to discuss things calmly and respectfully. If you’re feeling frustrated, take a moment before responding. Remember, a quick “thank you” or “please” can go a long way. You don’t have to be best friends, just decent communicators.
2. Be Flexible
Things will change—schedules, moods, and needs—especially with kids involved. Flexibility keeps conflict down, as both parents recognise that life isn’t always predictable. Allowing a little leeway shows respect and trust in each other’s roles.
3. Encourage Your Child’s Relationship with Their Other Parent
Support your child’s bond with their other parent. A positive co-parenting relationship often involves letting go of personal grievances to make space for the kids. By encouraging your child’s relationship with their other parent, you’re giving them the stability and support they need.
4. Include Each Other in Important Decisions
Co-parenting works best when it’s a team effort. Include each other in discussions on important issues—whether it’s school choices, health matters, or birthday party plans. When both parents feel valued in decision-making, there’s less room for resentment or misunderstandings.
5. Get Organised and Avoid the Small Fights
Forgotten items and missed events cause more disagreements than you might think. Consider using a family calendar or app to keep track of schedules, holidays, and special events. Or, if you prefer low-tech, keep a shared communication notebook. Organised parents tend to argue less because they’re all on the same page. Check out our blog post on parenting apps to help streamline communication.
6. Take Out the Emotion
Emotions can quickly escalate disagreements, so keep conversations focused on practical details instead of emotional history. Talk about what needs to be done for the child, not old grievances. A businesslike approach often keeps things smoother and less stressful.
7. Use Positive Language
A little politeness goes a long way. Using kind language—like “please” and “thank you”—can change the whole tone of a conversation. When each parent feels appreciated rather than criticized, co-parenting becomes less of a chore and more of a partnership.
8. Practice Compromise
Co-parenting isn’t about winning; it’s about working together. Be willing to compromise on things like visitation schedules or extracurricular activities. Practicing a give-and-take approach helps create a more harmonious environment for your kids.
9. Put the Kids First
Remembering that co-parenting is about the kids, not past conflicts, can help you both stay focused on what matters. Make decisions that are in the best interest of the kids, even if it means letting go of some of your own preferences. It’s a simple idea that can make all the difference.
10. Take Time for Yourself
Let’s face it, co-parenting can be exhausting. Take time for yourself to recharge so you can show up as the best version of yourself for your kids. Whether it’s a quick walk, a catch-up with friends, or a good book, self-care keeps stress levels down and patience levels up.
Need Help with Your Co-Parenting Journey?
Co-parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about finding what works and keeping the focus on your kids. If you’re struggling to make it work or have questions about formalising your arrangements, Coastal Lawyers can help you navigate the process. Contact us for advice tailored to your unique family situation.
Written by Coastal Lawyers- Central Coast Family Lawyers
Coastal Lawyers are family lawyers based in Erina, on the Central Coast.
Coastal Lawyers assist family law clients in parenting, property, mediation, dispute resolution, and litigation. We offer the legal advice you expect from a lawyer, along with the emotional support you might not expect.
We are passionate about assisting our clients achieve amicable separations without the need for court intervention through the process of legally assisted mediation.
Our team also frequently appears at the Newcastle Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Newcastle FCFCOA), the Parramatta Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Parramatta FCFCOA), and the Sydney Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Sydney FCFCOA) to represent our clients in more intricate family law matters. This encompasses issues related to family violence, unacceptable risk of harm to children, relocation applications, recovery orders and complex property settlements.
Coastal Lawyers offer a 1 hour Strategy Session for all new family law enquiries at a reduced hourly rate.